Hello and may Gods Grace and Mercy remind you of His Love, Holiness and Power!

To fall into the hands of the living God by holding onto hidden lust and sin is foolishness of the highest order. God created us for so much more than that. Left to grow in the dark, this will destroy your relationship with God and shortly after, with your spouse. 
Today, be free of it.

God has a better plan for you and your spouse.
Declare war on your flesh by replacing lust with Gods good promises and desires.



May Gods Grace guide and protect you today :-) 

Day 24: Love vs. Lust
The world is passing away, and also its lusts; but the one who does the will of God lives forever.
—1 John 2:17
TODAY’S DARE
End it now. Identify every object of lust in your life and remove it. Single out every lie you’ve swallowed in pursuing forbidden pleasure and reject it. Lust cannot be allowed to live in a back bedroom. It must be killed and destroyed—today—and replaced with the sure promises of God and a heart filled with His perfect love.

Hello and welcome to you who God created to be VERY good in VERY good marriages!

Todays Love dare is simple but difficult.

To Love your spouse well, you must protect your Love relationship with them by removing ANYTHING that you've allowed (or caused)  to get between you and your spouse on a regular basis.

This normally isnt a giant demon with a flaming sword, or a band of kidnappers that have taken them hostage, but rather other priorities in life (some positive and helpful in the right priority, some not)

Things like Addictions you hide, Screen time, your job, your affection for your kids, your hobbies, your " Me time", your friend time, over serving in ministries, etc... etc.... etc....

**Spoiler alert. These things are most likely idols that you consistently put above your relationship with God as well**


Soberly assess what your calendar and checkbook look like, and see where you are prioritizing things over your spouse, and make the adjustment to immediately stop doing that. Starting Today.

Warning - It's never God getting between you and your spouse. In Him, all things hold together including your marriage. Your relationship with Him comes first even above your spouse. If your relationship with God isn't 1st priority, you wont be able to love your spouse like Jesus, because you dont have Jesus guiding you- you've put your faith elsewhere**



May Gods Grace guide and protect you today :-) 

Day 23: Love always protects
[Love] always protects.
—1 Corinthians 13:7 NIV

TODAY’S DARE
Remove anything that is hindering your relationship, any addiction or influence that’s stealing your affections and turning your heart away from your spouse.

Hello and welcome to God’s holy people, the faithful in Christ Jesus:

2 Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.

In As we shift our focus back to how we actively display Gods love to our spouse today, we are challenged with loving even if we get nothing in return.
This is where we are the most like Jesus. Loving someone who doesnt love us first/ or even in return. It's simple, but difficult.
The long and short of it is that we love because Jesus first loved us. Not because of the circumstances that arise in the midst of that love.

Go all in today - Let your spouse know verbally and directly that you love them, no matter what.

May Todays love dare bless you and be a blessing to your spouse. 

Remember- Faith without works is dead. Don't just read todays dare. GO DO IT!
Love is a commitment and requires work, but it is worth it and brings ETERNAL gain.

Day 22: Love is faithful
I will betroth you to Me in faithfulness. Then you will know the Lord.
—Hosea 2:20
             
TODAY’S DARE
Love is a choice, not a feeling. It is an initiated action, not a knee-jerk reaction. Choose today to be committed to love even if your spouse has lost most of their interest in receiving it. Say to them today in words similar to these, “I love you. Period. I choose to love you even if you don’t love me in return.”

Hello and welcome all so dearly beloved by God!

In Todays Dare,  we are getting prepared for the second 1/2 of the 40 day love dare.
How does one prepare to love as God Loves?
By seeking God daily, steadfastly and in increasing measure of course. The love for you spouse will grow as you grow in Love and obedience to God.

The problem with trying to love without putting God first, is that you run out of the ability to do so rather quickly without Gods Spirit and Word strengthening, guiding, directing, convicting and encouraging you.
So today, lets get equipped for the last 3 weeks of the Love dare by committing ourselves first to loving the Lord, and let HIM grow the Love He desires in us so that we may reflect and pass that Love onto our spouses!


Remember- Faith without works is dead. Don't just read todays dare. GO DO IT!
Love is a commitment and requires work, but it is worth it and brings ETERNAL gain.

Day 21: Love is satisfied in God
The Lord will continually guide you, and satisfy your desire.
—Isaiah 58:11

TODAY’S DARE
Be intentional today about making a time to pray and read your Bible. Try reading a chapter out of Proverbs each day (there are thirty-one—a full month’s supply), or reading a chapter in the Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John). As you do, immerse yourself in the love and promises God has for you. This will add to your growth as you walk with Him.

Good morning you who are fearfully and wonderfully made by the God of ALL Creation!



Today, we hit the midway point of the 40 day love dare challenge.

As you took a pause to reflect on how you have done at loving your spouse for the last 3 weeks or so, perhaps you recognized that in some ways, you weren't fully engaged. In other ways, you simply didnt want to do it, or made excuses for not.

This is no surprise. It's impossible for us to Love perfectly as God loved us when He sent His Son. Yet, he did it anyways. He sent His son Jesus to live the perfect life that we couldn't, and then die a sinners deserved death, and rise gain to intercede on our behalf for all eternity before the Father of Heaven, so that we can no longer lived condemned for our rebellious, unloving nature, but rather can be at peace with God, and enjoy eternal life with our prince of Peace.

Before we move forward in the the love dare next steps with our spouses, for the next few days, we will be going to the source of true Love, the true vine which nourishes us as the branches, Jesus Christ.

We will focus on abiding in the one who can give us a divine love that we can then share with our Spouses ( and beyond- our children, neighbors and even enemies)


Start with the Love of Jesus and believe in faith His great love for you.



Remember- Faith without works is dead. Don't just read todays dare. GO DO IT!
Love is a commitment and requires work, but it is worth it and brings ETERNAL gain.

Day 20: Love is Jesus Christ
While we were still helpless, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly.
—Romans 5:6

TODAY’S DARE
Dare to take God at His Word. Dare to trust Jesus Christ for salvation. Dare to pray, “Lord Jesus, I’m a sinner. But You have shown Your love for me by dying to forgive my sins, and You have proven Your power to save me from death by Your resurrection. Lord, change my heart, and save me by Your grace.”

Good morning to you sons and daughters of God!


Todays Love dare is a pause before we hit the 1/2 way point in this challenge.
Why the Pause?
To reflect on how we are doing, and where our hearts are truly at.
God IS love. Without Him at the Center and the foundation of what we are doing, it's truly impossible to love our spouses as He calls us to.

Take today to truly assess how seriously you have taken this Love dare ( to love your spouse as Christ loves us, using Gods definition of love) and where you need Gods help.
Spoiler alert- you probably need His help in EVERY area ;-)

Enjoy the days restful contemplation as you do todays love dare -





Remember- Faith without works is dead. Don't just read todays dare. GO DO IT!
Love is a commitment and requires work, but it is worth it and brings ETERNAL gain.

Day 19: Love is impossible
Let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God.
—1 John 4:7

TODAY’S DARE
Look back over the dares from previous days. Were there some that seemed impossible to you? Have you realized your need for God to change your heart and to give you the ability to love? Ask Him to show you where you stand with Him, and ask for the strength and grace to settle your eternal destination.

Much love and many blessings today in Christ our savior!

As married life continues over the years, work, children, distractions, struggles and yes, even victories can lead us into a place where we no longer truly study or know our spouse. This is a shame, because there is a deep blessing in knowing our spouses in increasing measure over time -

Todays love dare draws attention to the wisdom and understanding that we gain by seeking to know our spouses. Proverbs 3:13 says that this type of wisdom is a blessing. To be blessed today, let's focus on studying our spouse intentionally.

It's simpler than it seems - Go to it! 



Remember- Faith without works is dead. Don't just read todays dare. GO DO IT!
Love is a commitment and requires work, but it is worth it and brings ETERNAL gain.

Day 18: Love seeks to understand
How blessed is the man who finds wisdom, and the man who gains understanding.
—Proverbs 3:13

TODAY’S DARE
Prepare a special dinner at home, just for the two of you. The dinner can be as nice as you prefer. Focus this time on getting to know your spouse better, perhaps in areas you’ve rarely talked about. Determine to make it an enjoyable evening for you and your mate.

To those who Jesus holds in high esteem as His Children, Ambassadors and friends -

Todays love dare is about protecting and cherishing your spouse in a way that lets them know that they can tell you anything, and you will give them a safe place to talk about what secrets hurts, areas they have fallen short, or thoughts that they have. This includes areas that they may have wounded you.
In a Godly marriage, we have a place to be truly honest and know that our spouse will pray with us, for us, and love us as we struggle. We also have a place where the grace of God can be extended to us ( and we can extend it to our spouse) when we fall short.

Be that safe place of grace for your spouse today.


Remember- Faith without works is dead. Don't just read todays dare. GO DO IT!
Love is a commitment and requires work, but it is worth it and brings ETERNAL gain.

Day 17: Love promotes intimacy
He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.
—Proverbs 17:9 NIV

TODAY’S DARE
Determine to guard your mate’s secrets (unless they are dangerous to them or to you) and to pray for them. Talk with your spouse, and resolve to demonstrate love in spite of these issues. Really listen to them when they share personal thoughts and struggles with you. Make them feel safe.

Greetings to you dear friends, whom I love in truth.

Grace and peace be yours in a measure that you simply must share with others around you.

As Christians, Oftentimes in our marriages ( and life in general) we pray as a last resort, or as a chore ( to check the " I'm a good christian" box off our daily to do list).

Yet God has given us prayer for so much more. We have the opportunity to speak directly to the God of the Universe. The Creator and Sustainer of all things. The Alpha and the Omega. The one in whom we live and move and have our being.
Yet we have very little to say to Him unless there is a serious emergency.

Today, our marriage will give us an opportunity to turn this thinking around and bless our spouse beyond measure by asking God to strengthen, protect, grow, help, support, and transform our spouse.

Before doing the dare below, take a few moments to start by asking God for Wisdom as to what you should be praying for regarding your spouses needs. Then, get to it.
Pray for your spouse daily, starting today ( not to make them better for you, but to grow closer to God). This is one of the greatest acts of love that you can offer. 

Much love and many blessings in Christ!




Remember- Faith without works is dead. Don't just read todays dare. GO DO IT!
Love is a commitment and requires work, but it is worth it and brings ETERNAL gain.

Day 16: Love intercedes
Beloved, I pray that in all respects you may prosper and be in good health, just as your soul prospers.
—3 John 2

TODAY’S DARE
Begin praying today for your spouse’s heart. Pray for three specific areas where you desire for God to work in your spouse’s life and in your marriage.

Greetings to you who have been chosen according to the foreknowledge of God the Father, through the sanctifying work of the Spirit, to be obedient to Jesus Christ and sprinkled with his blood:

Grace and peace be yours in abundance.

In todays Love dare, we get the opportunity to show our spouses that we honor them.

Husbands - Do you keep your word to your wife as you would others at work?  That's a matter of honoring her. Do you study here and take note of her needs and let her know though your actions that you elevate her above all others ( other than God) in your eyes and heart?
Do you anticipate her needs and fill them to the best of your ability, without looking for recognition, but rather because she is a daughter of Christ?

Wives - Do you speak to your husband respectfully as a man who you cherish and appreciate? Do you anticipate his needs and try to fill them to the best of your ability without complaint or criticism, but rather because he is a son of Christ?


Today, look at your spouse with new eye, and change your perspective. Serve them and honor them well from a place of Godly Love, and so fulfill the law and the prophets in your marriage. God loves your spouse enough to die for them. So should you sons and daughters of God :-) 



Remember- Faith without works is dead. Don't just read todays dare. GO DO IT!
Love is a commitment and requires work, but it is worth it and brings ETERNAL gain.

Day 15: Love is honorable
Live with your wives in an understanding way . . . and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life.
—1 Peter 3:7

TODAY’S DARE
Choose a way to show honor and respect to your spouse that is above your normal routine. It may be holding the door for her. It might be putting his clothes away for him. It may be the way you listen and speak in your communication. Show your mate that he or she is highly esteemed in your eyes.

Greetings to you most beloved of God most High, saved by His grace and mercy and given good deeds prepared in advance to do!

Quality time.
Its a concept that we need to have time of a particular quality with our spouse. While not entirely untrue, the phrase neglects a few important points.

We don't all define quality time the same.

For example, some define it as dates, or trips, or uninterrupted quiet alone time without the kids around. Others define it as simply sitting next to each other looking at a screen watching a movie at home, or both reading quietly next to each other ( or scrolling if that's your thing). Others might be defining it as time in the woods together, or sailing.

There isn't enough time.
If quality time is something specific ( and we have differing ideas of quality time in our marriages), we won't be able to have quality time most of the days of our lives because of the things we do daily just to navigate the lives that we have as married couples. There is, after all, only so much time (168 hours per week, no more, no less), and most of it is already measured out and spent.

In addition to that, if we all have differing definitions of quality time, we can spend a significant amount of time and resources doing things that feels like quality time to us, but doesn't do a thing for our spouse, leaving 1/2 of our " 1 flesh" completely left out in the cold.

Thankfully, todays love dare pulls from the wisdom of Solomon and the sacrificial love of Jesus to help us simply solve this issue.

Instead of looking for something in life that feels quality for you to do with your spouse, lay down YOUR idea of quality time, and instead count the time you have today as quality by spending the Time you do have with your spouse, doing what THEY like to do ( as long as you do it together).

In short, call it quality time not because of what you do, but because you are WITH your spouse.

You may just find that you have plenty of time of quality because your love for your spouse is where the true quality lies.


Remember- Faith without works is dead. Don't just read todays dare. GO DO IT!
Love is a commitment and requires work, but it is worth it and brings ETERNAL gain.

Day 14: Love takes delight
Enjoy life with the wife you love all the days of your fleeting life.
—Ecclesiastes 9:9 HCSB

TODAY’S DARE
Purposefully neglect an activity you would normally do so you can spend quality time with your spouse. Do something he or she would love to do or a project they’d really like to work on. Just be together.

Good morning to you, Sons and Daughters of the Ancient of Days- those beloved by God and indwelled by His Holy Spirit!

In marriage, there will be trouble. There will be conflicts. There will be disagreements, options, bad days that lead to bad words and bad actions. This is to be expected.


Becoming one flesh more and more in unity in all things takes time, work, perseverance, and discussion as we work through things. This leads to very good things in the end as God uses our marriage and spouse to sand away the rough edges of our lives and walk with Jesus.

But sometimes, the way we go about this in a way that's more like a hammer than sandpaper. We get emotionally wounded or disrespected, or simply have a mean steak and try to damage our spouse.

In a word, we fight as if our spouse is an enemy to be destroyed rather than our partner, that we love, that we simply need to work something out with. And we do it without headgear or rules to keep the fight civil and productive.

This is foolish. If we are one flesh, hurting your spouse hurts you as well, and we often do it then say things like " I'm sorry, You know I love you." but don't follow that up with actions or concrete change in the methods that we use to fight.

Todays love dare aims at getting you fighting with your spouse well.
What is fighting well?
In a way that helps your marriage rather than hurts it, even when you disagree.
In a way that solves the issue and doesn't make it worse.
In a way that allows you to love one another, deal with issue and move forward, in love and grace, together.
In a way that unites you rather than divides you.

It starts with establishing the rules of engagement.
May Gods grace guide you in todays love dare!
Love your spouse well, in Jesus name! 

Remember- Faith without works is dead. Don't just read todays dare. GO DO IT!
Love is a commitment and requires work, but it is worth it and brings ETERNAL gain.

Day 13: Love fights fair
If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand.
—Mark 3:25

TODAY’S DARE
Talk with your spouse about establishing healthy rules of engagement. If your mate is not ready for this, then write out your own personal rules to “fight” by. Resolve to abide by them when the next disagreement occurs.If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand.

Good morning to you, most favored by the God and Lord of all creation! 

Have you ever been in an argument with your spouse over opinions or preferences?
Here are a few areas that come up over and over again in couples counseling .....

1) He leaves his shoes or clothing on the floor! I want them in the hamper! How Hard is it, REALLY?

2) She won't keep her car clean! I work hard to make payments on that! How hard is it, REALLY?

3) The house isn't clean to MY standards and dinner isn't ready when I get home! How hard is it, REALLY?

4)He refuses to put the toilet seat down! How hard is it, REALLY?

5) He wants some quiet time when he gets home - How hard is it to just be PRESENT with us, REALLY?

6) She wants to talk right when I come in the door or as we lie down in bed to sleep  - How hard is it to just go to sleep and talk to her friends instead of me, REALLY?

Those are just 6 common ones - don't get us started on bread ties, dirty dishes, rage driving habits and dryer lint traps.....

Did you notice the word REALLY? in bold at the end of each sentence?

That indicates a heart that is starting to grow bitter roots or look down on the spouse that's disappointing you through their preferences/ choices ( WE are talking non sinful choices here. That's a whole different topic)-

Holding onto something that comes between you and your spouse, just to be right, or win an argument ( or worse yet, just to show your spouse that their opinion doesn't matter to you in trial things) is foolish. Its also not anything like Jesus, or that He has commanded us.
To lay ourselves down in grace for the other person ( specifically modeled and grown in marriage)
You are one flesh with your spouse. If they lose, you lose. If they win, you win.
So stop trying to be " right" and do the right thing. Love your spouse like Jesus. 

Start the process today of intentionally letting go of things that aren't that important, because its a blessing to your spouse ( you Love them, right)?

:-)



Remember- Faith without works is dead. Don't just read todays dare. GO DO IT!
Love is a commitment and requires work, but it is worth it and brings ETERNAL gain.

Day 12: Love lets the other win
Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.
—Philippians 2:4

TODAY’S DARE
Demonstrate love by willingly choosing to give in to an area of disagreement between you and your spouse. Tell them you are putting their preference first.

Good morning you men and women of God, you brothers and sisters of the Lord, you ambassadors of His peace and grace! 

 Today's Love dare is directed at husbands.
Its simple. Serve your wife because you love her, with a joyous heart. Observe here and ask her what her needs are, and care for her by doing them.
As you are one flesh, her needs are your needs. To care of your wife, take care of your marriage, take care of yourself.

See? Simple.

But once you've done it, start doing it everyday :-)
This is part of being a Godly husband. Practice makes perfect




Remember- Faith without works is dead. Don't just read todays dare. GO DO IT!
Love is a commitment and requires work, but it is worth it and brings ETERNAL gain.

Day 11: Love cherishes
Husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies.
—Ephesians 5:28

TODAY’S DARE
             
What need does your spouse have that you could meet today? Can you run an errand? Give a back rub or foot massage? Is there housework you could help with? Choose a gesture that says, “I cherish you” and do it with a smile.

Good morning you saints of God most high- Hi redeemed, restored and victorious people! 

As we look at day 10 of the Love dare, we find that todays dare is very doable, and only requires intention and a good heart towards our spouse.

As life gets busy, work, children, holidays, visitors, money issues, illnesses, hobbies, activities and the like get us moving so quickly in so many directions that we can forget to think of our spouse, the joy that they have brought us, and ways that we might serve, surprise, delight and show our love for them.
In short, we fall into a routine that will eventually leave our marriage lifeless but functional ( until it isn't).

Add to that hurts, hangups and habits that may have formed bitter roots in your heart towards your spouse. This can leave us intentionally (or unintentionally) doing the very least for our spouse and justifying it as " that's good enough. I'm doing my part and anyways, I'm tired and they don't do anything extra for me". Sometimes, we don't even think of our spouse at all and are completely on autopilot concerning them.

This falls far short of the mark of love that Jesus sets for us.

Blessedly- its very easy to start combating this. Its all about willfully and intentionally giving grace to PROVE your love for your spouse, without requiring them to earn it. Jesus did this for us at the cross.

Start today -

Love your spouse and enjoy the Love dare, day 10 :-)

 

Remember- Faith without works is dead. Don't just read todays dare. GO DO IT!
Love is a commitment and requires work, but it is worth it and brings ETERNAL gain.

Day 10: Love is unconditional
God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
—Romans 5:8

TODAY’S DARE
Do something out of the ordinary today for your spouse—something that proves (to you and to them) that your love is based on your choice and nothing else. Wash her car. Clean the kitchen. Buy his favorite dessert. Fold the laundry. Demonstrate love to them for the sheer joy of being their partner in marriage.

Good morning you fruitful branches, held up and transformed by the Love of Christ Jesus! 

For Thanksgiving 2024, we took a day off yesterday for everyone to rest with family and consider with gratitude all of the blessings and goodness that God has blanketed us with-

I pray that your day was one of sacred contemplation, joy and recognition that God is good and does good things :-)

Oftentimes in busy seasons, we fall into not greeting our spouse with anything but a grunt, a rushed " Hey." of even a request for something you want from them. While this is easy to fall into, it can go very quickly from a "busy season" to a lifestyle that eventually communicated a lack of love, care, concern or even acknowledgement that you love you spouse.  Live that way for too long, and the love of a marriage will grow cold which makes it a very opportune moment for the enemy to strike with lies.

Blessedly, this is extremely easy to address.
When you read the Letters of the New Testament, almost every single one starts with a greeting expressing love, a recognition (AND Reminder) of our shared identity in Christ  and desire to show acknowledgement of the ties between Christians and our amazing God. We truly are family. In marriage, we have the dual honor of being husband and wife, as WELL as brothers and sisters in Christ.


Todays Love dare is very simple. Its simply considering how you greet your spouse, and intentionally choosing to daily greet your spouse in such a way that reflects your love for them.

Get out there and love your spouse today and may Gods grace find you grateful and amazed - 

Remember- Faith without works is dead. Don't just read todays dare. GO DO IT!
Love is a commitment and requires work, but it is worth it and brings ETERNAL gain.

Day 9: Love makes good impressions
Greet one another with a kiss of love.
—1 Peter 5:14

TODAY’S DARE
Think of a specific way you’d like to greet your spouse today. Do it with a smile and with enthusiasm. Then determine to change your greeting to reflect your love for them.

Good morning and may Gods Grace flow in, though and around you, Oh you redeemed beloved children of the Lord most high! 
Today we are tackling Day 8 of the Love dare together- We will be looking at applying a practical application to the Song of Solomons poetic language describing the strength and power of the Love of God, and His love reflected through us towards Him and Each other ( specifically our spouses for our purposes).

Remember - We are at war with our sinful flesh and the enemy of our souls and our Lord.  This war destroys marriages, children and future generations. Our enemy ( the Lord rebuke and cast him down) is a master at stoking the fires of jealousy and hatred within our homes, and then we run with it and destroy our own marriages.

At one point in time, I asked someone in a very difficult marriage situation to tell me one thing they love about their spouse or that their spouse did well that was appreciated. After all, they were married and had children.

I was immediately accused (quite heatedly) of taking sides and disregarding the situation (not true), and the person continued to pile on what they felt their spouse was doing incorrectly. After several attempts to bring the person back to something productive, I was informed that their spouse was looked upon with favor by everyone else around because of things they did, but that none of it was true. It was just an act. There was nothing good about their spouse, they were in fact, nothing but a deceiver and hid all of their issues from everyone around, and people all favored the deceiving spouse. There was a distinct accusatory jealous rage and anger in the comments.

While terribly sad and destructive, this isn't uncommon. As a matter of fact, its one of the most common things I've heard in counseling. 

One of the tactics the enemy uses is to dishonestly discourage us that all is lost, and in the face of hardship- only the hardship, difficulty and the faults of our spouses should be taken into consideration.  Here's what that looks like in a marriage.

Your spouse does 100 good things a day, and has 200 good habits and traits, and the enemy ( and our flesh) consistently points the handful of things about them that we don't like or that they DIDN'T do. To make matters worse, once our hearts and minds are laser focused on the negative aspects of our spouse / relationship, the enemy ( and our flesh) conspire to keep us from noticing the good things that they do completely, even to the point of being jealous of them succeeding anywhere.

We then diminish anything good they do, and have a critical spirit towards them even when they do something worthy of praise - achievements at work, achievements at things around the house, in their hobbies, Church related serving and ministry, etc..... Often, we keep this critical spirit hidden, but it begins to spill over from our thought life to sarcasm, sighing, rolling of eyes and a growing bitterness, disregard and disdain. This eventually kills any relationship with God, the relationship, marriage and any chance of future reconciliation. The one you looked at the beginning is now considered the enemy.

Here is Gods truth though.
Love (Gods way and definition) is as strong as death. We are to stoke the fires of our hearts to bend towards our spouse, and not away from them - AND to Love our spouses beyond any scheme of the enemy to kill our marriage - the way to do this is to deal in truth, love and grace.
Todays Love dare does exactly that. Clear the shelf of negative thoughts about your spouse, intentionally give them Grace ( Jesus died so that we can do this as He did it for us), and start fresh with love, new eyes and a new heart towards them.

Go intentionally love your spouse well today - There's a war on ( but be of good cheer- Jesus has overcome the world!)

**As always, this is not aimed at addressing abuse within a marriage. That's a separate topic not addressed here. If you are in an abusive relationship, get help from your pastor, or if its physical, contact the police to protect yourself, and get some solid Christian counseling**


Remember- Faith without works is dead. Don't just read todays dare. GO DO IT!
Love is a commitment and requires work, but it is worth it and brings ETERNAL gain.

Day 8: Love is not jealous
Love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire.
—Song of Solomon 8:6 NIV

TODAY’S DARE
Determine to become your spouse’s biggest fan and to reject any thoughts of jealousy. To help you set your heart on your spouse and focus on their achievements, take yesterday’s list of negative attributes and discreetly burn it. Then share with your spouse how glad you are about a success he or she recently enjoyed.

Good morning to you Beloved sons and daughters of God,  who have been born of God and know God!

May Gods Love be reflected in all that you do today, as you love your spouse and show / share the Gospel in your thoughts, Words and deeds!

Today we are on Day 7 of the Love dare- We are one week in!

As we look at todays dare, we begin to notice that our enemy, the liar, the deceiver and the defeated foe ( the Lord rebuke and condemn him) has been working overtime in our hearts and mindset convince us to define our spouse as a sum of their failures and faults instead of Gods creation ( and child if they know and follow Jesus). This leads us to see our spouses in a negative light, and eventually makes us believe that they are against us, or could care less for us. This leads us (if we feed our flesh on this diet of disdain and disregard) to be constantly negative towards our spouse ( or cold to them ) and leads to hopelessness, ambivalence and / or give up on growing closer to them. In effect, the enemies lies have convinced us to see our spouses in a way different than Jesus sees them, leading us to treat them differently than God commands and then justify our actions because of how we see them. The enemy is a liar and its incredibly simple to poke massive holes in these lies, and let the light of truth in.

Todays dare does just that- It lets the hope of Gods love, grace, power and holiness replace the darkness of hopelessness in a marriage. You AND your spouse WILL grow in Christ and become more like Him, day by day, if you walk forward in faithfulness to His Word. Even if you are in a hard season of marriage( or just stuck in a very boring and blah season), there is a hope for a future that leads into eternity if you trust and follow God and His Word. God made you, He designed marriage to be VERY good, and He is the author and perfecto of our faith.

That's what todays love dare is about. Destroying the wicked/evil works of the enemy in our relationships with our spouses and so rekindle the HOPE that God can and WILL build HIS kingdom, RIGHT IN our hearts, marriages and homes.

Remember- Faith without works is dead. Don't just read todays dare. GO DO IT!
Love is a commitment and requires work, but it is worth it and brings ETERNAL gain.

Day 7: Love believes the best
[Love] believes all things, hopes all things.
—1 Corinthians 13:7

TODAY’S DARE
For today’s dare, get two sheets of paper. On the first one, spend a few minutes writing out positive things about your spouse. Then do the same with negative things on the second sheet. Place both sheets in a secret place for another day. There is a different purpose and plan for each. At some point during the remainder of the day today, pick a positive attribute from the first list and thank your spouse for having this characteristic.

Good morning to you who were given by God a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control!

May Gods Grace in Christ Jesus Shine in , on, around and through you today!

Today we undertake Day 6 of the Love dare, where we begin to consider and make foundational  changes in our lives to support our commitment to love our spouses in a Godly way for a lifetime.

If you recall, a few days ago we began to recognize that the enemy uses good things to draw us away from loving our spouses in a subtle way. Our busyness with " good thing" overwhelms us, and the lack of time that it brings upon us causes us to most frequently give up time with our spouse instead of saying no to the other things that we are involving ourselves in, leaving us with no time invested in our marriages. This leads to a lack of intimacy and growth in our marriage relationships and can eventually cause serious problems.

Today, we will recognize and begin to address another trap in this lifestyle of busyness - no margin of time in our schedules leading to constantly be under stress which begins to lead to chronic irritation due to lack of time to deal with anything additional, including our spouse ( let alone and God forbid that something unexpected happens).
As our spouse lives with us, they tend to get the brunt of our irritation when things don't go to plan.
Today, lets start intentionally wage war on this - here are a few steps to take and practice.

1) When we recognize that we are irritated, intentionally respond to our irritation in Godly / loving ways.
2) Begin to identify areas of our life where we need to say no to things so that we can have margin in our life to love our spouses well.
3) As you recognize those areas, begin to actually say no and remove them. Some things may take a little while to let go of. Let your spouse know what you are doing in this area.


Remember- reading this and pondering it isnt the same as doing it. Love is a commitment and requires work, but it is worth it!

Day 6: Love is not irritable
He who is slow to anger is better than
the mighty, and he who rules his spirit,
than he who captures a city.
—Proverbs 16:32

TODAY’S DARE
Choose today to react to tough
circumstances in your marriage in loving
ways instead of with irritation. Begin by
making a list below of areas where you
need to add margin to your schedule.
Then list any wrong motivations that you
need to release from your life

Good morning to you who were saved and remade to see and reflect the glory of the Lord. And the Lord—who is the Spirit and be made more and more like him as you are changed into his glorious image - !
Grace and peace in Christ Jesus to you all, blessed family of God!


Today, we undertake day 5 of the Love Dare - (The Dare is at the bottom of the page) Todays is a bit more challenging than the first 4.  We have to set time aside to ask our spouse to be our mirror. You actually have to ask them to illuminate and point some flaws in you that they see !

This is difficult, because sometimes, we have a lot of ugly within us that we wont see unless we have that mirror, but oftentimes, we are offended  when we are confronted with the truth that there are things in us that dont bring glory to God. With our words and actions, we can be harsh, we can be critical, we can be uncaring, cold, aloof, sarcastic, and the list goes on. Oftentimes, we dont even know we are doing it and our spouses are afraid to tell us, or sure we wont listen or will justify the behavior anyways.

Sadly, we often do this with our spouse and hide it everywhere else, which also makes us liars, 2 faced and hypocrites. These things are all sinful and show a rotten heart condition, and this way leads to death of our relationship with God, and eventually our marriages.

Todays help is to focus on giving our spouse the green light to be a mirror for our behavior so that we can make changes to be more like Jesus ( and better display the Love that He has for us).

Remember- reading this and pondering it isnt the same as doing it. Love is a commitment and requires work, but it is worth it!

Day 5: Love is not rude
He who blesses his friend with a loud voice early in the morning, it will be reckoned a curse to him.
—Proverbs 27:14

TODAY’S DARE
Ask your spouse to tell you three things that cause him or her to be uncomfortable or irritated with you. You must do so without attacking them or justifying your behavior. This is from their perspective only.

Blessings oh you most beloved of God almighty, His masterpieces created anew in Christ Jesus to do the good works that He’s prepared in advance for you! 

How is your marriage today? 


For the last few days, we’ve been discussing that there is a demonic war that’s been waged against Gods design and creation since the beginning ( the fall EARLY in Genesis). We have been focusing on one of the first aspects of Gods creation that was attacked is marriage and the relationship between Adam, Eve and God.

Yesterday, we pointed out that one of the schemes of the enemy ( the Lord rebuke him) is to lie and subtly confuse people by slowly and slyly changing the definition of Words that God uses. Remember. He is s liar. We are at war and will be until the end.
Give his lies no place to hide. The best way to do that is to know and apply the Word of God in your marriages.

To that end, for the next 40 days, we will focus on the Word Love and how to use it to have victorious Godly marriages that bring God glory, and are the true blessing that God intended for us.


Our current culture loves to say that “ Love is Love” - what a ridiculous, circular, misleading, untrue and nothing statement that is. God has defined love very clearly since the beginning - He IS love ( amongst many other things) and has defined it as HE see’s fit. To say love is love is deceiving and generally passed on by the deceived (or the deceiver himself). This allows someone to say “ I love you” and act in a completely different way in marriage, leaving people wounded and marriages and children in tatters. In the end, Gods is maligned and faith is wounded for generations.  

Our aim is to correct that and teach what Godly love is, and how we are to reflect it in our marriages (to begin).



Here’s how the next 40 days look for us - ( well, 37 days now- we are on day 3)


Each day, we will focus on one verse that defines or shows active love the way that God defines it. 
Your part is to
1. Read and memorize the verse.
2. Take the challenge given and do it.
3. If you fail at doing it, do not move to the next day until you do. Love can be difficult. PRACTICE - no excuses.
4. Once you complete a day, move to the next day, and continue practicing the days that you have already completed.


Many times, earnestly doing this 40 day challenge addresses marriage problems without a need for counseling and breathes the great joy of Gods love into a marriage and family. As always its best if both spouses participate, but if that isn’t the case for you, do you part regardless. We are each called to be faithful to God for our part. Do your part. 



**Obviously, if you are in a physically abusive and unsafe relationship, this isn’t for you. You should both be getting recovery counseling and will need help and possibly police intervention while things get worked out**



Warning. There will be days that you don’t want to do for a variety of reasons (your spouse doesn’t deserve it, the marriage has been too hard, its too much work, there’s no time, etc etc…) - Do it anyways. Just know, that these are the very areas that the enemy has deceived you and you have gone along with the deception. Be free. Wage war. Be Bold. Trust God in it. Do your part and stop being beaten down.




Good morning to you who In Christ are loved, forgiven, and secure, more than conquerers through Jesus who loved us! 

May Gods grace bless you and your family with joy, peace and rest  today!


We are now at day 4 of the Love dare- 10 percent of the way in after today as we wage spiritual warfare against an enemy ( the Lord rebuke him) who believes that his subtle deceptions can drive a wedge in between us in our marriages.
God has said differently. 



Todays focus will be expressing love by being thoughtful of your spouse as God is towards us and we are to be towards Him. thoughtful doesn't mean doing nice things (although it can and should lead to that).
It means truly thinking of and studying your spouse to know them better in increasing measure.

As we look at Psalm 139 ( give the whole thing a read) , we realize that God is immeasurably familiar with us. He loves us, created us and knows us with a deep and abiding knowledge. Made in His image, and filled with His Spirit, His design is for us to do the same with our spouses - because I tell you the truth, He calls us one flesh. WE are to daily grow deeper into our relationship with one another in knowledge, closeness, care and concern.

Each day in the series, we point out the enemies schemes to twist Gods Words and kill, steal and destroy us so that we can effectively recognize his activity in our homes and stand firm and victorious against him as we throw him out in every area of our lives that we find him.
 
Today we will take note of 1 Peter 5:8

8 Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

Many of us have heard it, but havent made the connection to the tactics that the enemy uses against our marriages. 


That Word “ Devour” is in the greek -καταπίνω katapínō - which means devour, drown, swallow - 



In our marriages, we can often stop loving our spouse as God loves us, and be tempted to believe that our work, our children , our hobbies, our family activities, our “ me time”, our “ ministry callings”, our “ careers opportunities”, etc are the focus, and the marriage relationship between man and wife gets put in last place. 



These things are all generally good things, but aren’t the first thing that God calls us to as Husbands and wives. Our marriages are underwater and “drowning” in activities that “seem” good, but ultimately subtly pull apart and separate what God has joined together- Our marriages.



Its easily observable. We seldom think of our spouse, let alone continue to seek them out and care for them, unless we have to for some reason. 

The enemy ( the Lord rebuke him) has his way in our marriages and we never even know it. Our marriages have effectively been drowned, swallowed up and devoured by activity and we don’t even notice until there are severe problems. 



A telling sign? 
In our marriage ministry, many couples come for help, then actually can’t even attend counseling because they are drowning in their schedules and don’t know how to lay things down so that they can get assistance, even for an hour a week. That’s the number 1 challenge that we are currently seeing.

Couples will lay their marriage down, but nothing else. They are now officially drowning and unable to get above water. The enemy ( the Lord rebuke him) has lied to them about other things being more important, and then slowly drowns their marriage until there is no life left. 


As always, Gods Word is direct and simple, and His burden easy and His yoke is light. An easy start to getting back above water is todays love dare - Begin to focus on building a habit of daily focusing on thinking about your spouse, who they are, their needs and their day. This will take work.
 PRACTICE it. 
Get solid here and see what God does :-)

Much love and many blessings in Christ

Good morning ambassadors of Christ, you friends of God!

Today is day two of our 40 day process of loving our spouses as God defines love (and has proven it at the cross). Todays dare is at the bottom of the post ?

As I mentioned yesterday, the attack on Godly marriages began In the garden and is going strong to this day.Yet Gods Word gives us the solution. Loving and respecting God first and by extension our spouse second.

One of the schemes of the enemy is to redefine terms to separate people, starting with the marriage by throwing people into confusion about what Gods Word means.
For the next 40 days (39 days now), we’ll be focusing on the active definition of Love, by looking at Gods Word and practicing doing the things that God says are an extension of HIS definition of love.

If you did yesterdays love dare (love is patient) keep doing that and practicing it, and add todays love dare challenge below. If you didn’t succeed at yesterday’s Love dare, continue practicing that today and don’t move forward to todays challenge until you have yesterdays down. No skipping the stuff you don’t like - loving your spouse well is difficult. Practice it.

Start each day with a simple prayer like the below (we all need Gods help every day) -
Lord - give me the wisdom, strength, clarity and humility to recognize that I need you to be the Godly spouse that you intended. Help me to love my spouse as you intended and do it with a right heart. Point out anything in me that isn’t of you and help me to kill that off daily, grow in your love and extending it to my spouse. Thank you Father- I love you Lord.

Today, read the verse below and memorize it, but then practice Doing it ALL day today. No lip service. PRACTICE loving your spouse. No excuses.

How are you at being Kind to your spouse? Let’s practice today and see

Day 2: Love is kind
Be kind to one another, tender-hearted,
forgiving each other, just as God in
Christ also has forgiven you.
—Ephesians 4:32

TODAY’S DARE
In addition to saying nothing negative to
your spouse again today, do at least one
unexpected gesture as an act of kindness.

Good morning and many blessings to you Christ followers, called by Jesus bright lights and cities on a hill!

How’s your marriage today?

As I mentioned yesterday, the enemy has been at work targeting marriages within the Church to destroy what God has Established and called VERY good -it started in the garden and is still going on today.

It’s a spiritual war against God and His creation.

The good news? We were saved , made new and filled with Gods Holy Spirit to stand firm in the midst of that war. We were also given Gods Word to tell us everything we need to know to conduct ourselves in the proper way that God has set forth in this war. That’s truly all that’s needed. The key is to actually do it consistently in faith.
For the next 40 days, I will be posting 1 challenge and scripture to practice in your marriages. This is a very basic, first level counseling tool that you can use to get started.
It taken seriously, it often resolves the most common issues in a marriage within a very short period and paves the way for tremendous marriage growth- even if it starts with just one partner (obviously better with both)

It’s from the Love Dare by the Kendrick brothers.
The way it works is simple.
Read and memorize the verse of the day.
Practice DOING the daily challenge that comes with the verse.
 If you fail, own it and make no excuses (specifically choosing to own your own part and not focusing on the other persons part)

Here’s how to own it.
1) Ask God for forgiveness about it (you’ve sinned against Him by ignoring His Word), ask the person you’ve failed against for forgiveness, and try again the next day. When you succeed, go onto the next days challenge and continue living out the challenge that you have completed, every day.

It’s simple, but difficult. Hence our need for grace as we gather strength.

A warning -
Most women have the hardest time with days that focus on respectfulness towards her husband, not criticizing and guarding her words.

Most men have the hardest time on days that require they actively put their wives needs above their own and in fact, even consider their wives needs at all.

Day 1: Love is patient
Be completely humble and gentle; be
patient, bearing with one another in love.
—Ephesians 4:2 NIV

TODAY’S DARE
The first part of this dare is fairly simple.
Although love is communicated in a
number of ways, our words often reflect
the condition of our heart. For the next
day, resolve to demonstrate patience and
to say nothing negative to your spouse at
all. If the temptation arises, choose not to
say anything. It’s better to hold your
tongue than to say something you’ll
regret

Blessings and good morning oh you lovely people of God!
As the enemy has been on the warpath against marriages within the Church as of late (he’s trying to break momentum and place cracks in the Church, but we aren’t unaware of His schemes)  , it’s time to fight the good fight of the faith and rally Gods people to stand firm for Godly marriages in His Church.

Remember - the enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy and He wants Godly marriages a casualty of this (he started in the garden), but Jesus came that we would have life- abundant and full. If you Follow Christ, submit your His ways and let Him build your marriage in that submission.

In marriage, we are all called to respect each other, male or female, but we each have particular ways this tends to play out. God knows our makeup, strengths, tendencies and weaknesses as His Children and gives us quite simple advice.
So we’ll start with Simple and practical ways to begin.
Here are two questions I’d like to post to you today and I’d like you to pass along and encourage others struggling to do as well.

We’ll start very simply and very practically by focusing on Ephesians 5:21-33 - give it a read and ponder ?

1) Husbands
You are called andCommanded to love your wife as Christ loves the Church - laying your life down for her, sacrificially as Jesus did. Its not a burden- it’s a Godly calling done out of Love for her- Treat it as such, without grumbling and complaining

Husbands- today, ask the Lord the following in prayer, then live it out, today. Here’s your question in prayer - “Lord, how do I love my wife today like she’s never been loved and never will be loved?”

2) Wives, you are commanded to respect and help your husband. There is nothing demeaning about this- it’s a high calling. The Lord calls Himself OUR helper in many, many places in scripture (exodus 18:4; Deuteronomy 33:29;psalms 10,27,118 and many more)

Wives, Here is your question in prayer today -take it seriously and live it out today-
“Lord, how can I help my husband today?”
Start today and encourage and challenge your groups to do so as well -
Tomorrow - repeat ?
Much love and many blessings in Christ!